Now you can listen to and read along, with Simon's "Earth Evolution" Part One!
(When you see C: that is Chloe the computer talking, and MV is MetaVerse One the Bus)
G'day, my name is Simon, I'm an Australian Green Tree Frog.
I'm also a Fact Finding Frog.
Thanks for coming to visit me at my new Bus-Stop.
You heard that right, we're not in my rainforest, we're sitting at a bus stop.
This is all because I said to my computer Chloe, that it might be time for a new start, and would she mind shaking things up a bit.
She shook things up all right.
Thanks to that totally excellent music, I bet you've already guessed that we're in Hawaii.
Instead of a groovy Hawaiian shirt though, you might want to imagine wearing a nice cosy jacket, because the sun has just gone down, and this bus stop is 4,000 metres above sea level, on the top of a dormant volcano, called Mauna Kea.
Oh yeah, we're at the top of a dormant Volcano.
Let's hope it keeps sleeping while we're sitting here.
The last time it erupted was four and a half thousand years ago, but you know what they say, "you can't trust a volcano, they erupt, to no good!"
What would you get if you crossed a volcano with a light-bulb?
A Lava Lamp!
Do you know where a Volcano would go if it needed to do a wee?
To the lava-tory of course!
If you think about looking up, you'll notice how unbelievably clear the stars look from up here.
It's like someone's painted the entire sky with glitter!
Nature really knows how to do some serious Bling!
Can you see in your mind, all the dome shaped buildings that are scattered across this mountain top?
They're all telescope observatories that scientists from 11 different countries have built up here, because of that unreal view of the sky.
Some of them are optical telescopes, you know the ones you look into, and some are Infra-Red ones for measuring how hot or cold things are out in space, and there's even radio telescopes for listening to the universe.
The astronomers working in those buildings are the only ones allowed up here on the top of the mountain after sunset.
I bet they're warmer than we are.
I hope that bus hurries up, it's getting quite nippy out here.
Oh I almost forgot to give you your bus ticket.
Here you go.
Check out the back of it, it's got 2 clues on it.
The first clue says:
This is your ticket to nowhere on earth.
And clue number two says:
This will be the most historic adventure you've ever been on.
Sounds like this bus ticket is going to be just as tricky as my tree stump was when it comes to these clues.
Well Aloha, and hula-hula baby.
If I'm not mistaken, way over on our right hand side, that is a very shiny, very green bus headed this way.
Its headlights look yellow, but I'll bet those are fog lamps.
They're the only lights you're supposed to use near these telescopes, because they point down at the road, and not up into the air.
Can you see that the bus windows are so dark we can't see anything inside there, not even the driver.
I hope they can see out!
Oh excellent, it's slowing down and stopping right in front of us.
Oh yeah, here we go, the door is opening.
Okey dokey, this adventure just got really interesting.
Can you see, what I can see.
There's no driver in there at all.
This must be one of those self-driving buses, you know, like a self-driving car but much bigger.
MV:
Hello Simon!
Welcome to the Mobile Museum.
Please come aboard with your friend and take a seat at the front facing the instrument panels.
Oh bonus, it's a talking bus, my favourit-ist kind.
Let's get on board.
Holey Maccaroni with extra cheese!
This thing looks like the cockpit of a futuristic spaceship.
There's 2 very comfy looking seats, those must be the ones we have to sit in.
You choose which side you'd like and I'll take the other one.
Did you notice that behind us there aren't any passengers or seats, the rest of the bus is blocked off by a wall.
Weird huh?
And in front of us instead of windows, there are curved monitors with all sorts of readouts on them, and radar screens and a super snazzy dashboard, with flashing lights and buttons everywhere.
I wonder what all the controls do, I hope they don't expect me to drive it, I'm just a frog!
MV:
Simon, please relax, you will not be required to do any driving.
There are no roads where we are going, and piloting this vehicle is my only job.
Also, the controls on the dashboard, do nothing at all.
Apparently humans find flashing lights and dials to be very impressive and also very comforting.
The screens however will provide you with a visual representation of the quantum dimensions we pass through as we leave this version of reality.
Quantum dimensions?
You talk just like my computer friend, Chloe.
Do you have a name?
MV:
Yes, my complete name is Meta-Verse 1, as I am the first interdimensional craft designed to be capable of creating a network of 3 dimensional virtual worlds.
Chloe is my supervisor, and has advised me that you may be more comfortable with something shorter.
If you prefer, you can call me MV one.
Wow, news flash!
Buses are now officially Cool, with a capital C !
How about I call you MV, then you'll totally be the O.G, you know, like E.T.
MV:
If that is your preference then please call me MV.
I do not understand your references to O G and E T , however Chloe did warn me that your choice of expressions can be unpredictable.
I must say MV, this seems like a pretty sweet gig you have here.
I actually thought about being a bus driver once, but I don't like people talking behind my back!
But you know what they say, "Once you become a school bus driver, all your problems are behind you"!
Oh I just remembered, I hopped on a bus last week, but the driver told me to sit down like everyone else!
Sorry MV, I'll stop being silly now.
So, when do we leave?
MV:
We have been underway for the last 60 seconds, and have now entered the necessary holding pattern to allow this adventure to begin.
Wow, this is one seriously smooth ride!
But where on earth are we MV?
MV:
We are literally, nowhere on Earth.
The best explanation I can offer, is that we are floating comfortably in a parallel universe.
CLUE SOUND
Hang on a minute.
Nowhere on earth?
That's the first part of the clue on our bus ticket.
It meant we'd be in this different dimension, and not on the earth.
Excellent, one clue down, one to go.
Now MV, If we're not even on the earth, how do we get to the museum?
MV:
Simon, we do not get to the museum.
This vehicle, is the museum.
It is on the other side of the wall located directly behind you.
Oh man, this adventure just gets more bonkers by the second.
I have no idea what's going on and I love it!
OK MV, how do we get through the wall, I can't see a door anywhere.
MV:
Describing it as a wall would not be 100% accurate.
It is actually a force field, that looks like a wall.
Please stand in front of the force field and hold your tickets close to it for security scanning and identification.
Can do boogaloo.
Righto, let's think about holding our tickets out towards this force field - wall - thingy and see what happens.
RV:
Thank you, identification complete.
Force field temporarily powering down.
Please enter the Mobile Museum and have a nice day.
Did you see that, the wall just dissolved into thin air!
Thanks MV, we'll catch you on the flip side.
Come on, let's go in and check out this Museum that's floating in the middle of nowhere.
Oh man, I can describe this place in 3 words.
Un-Be-Lievable!!
I reckon I'm going to need a new brain, because my mind is completely blown!
Can you see in your imagination that we're standing in what looks like an absolutely ee-normous warehouse.
I can't believe how much room there is in here.
Have a look, the only thing in here is a silver flying saucer, and it's only a couple of steps away from us.
This bus isn't the only thing that's floating, that saucer is hovering too.
It's only a couple of centimetres off the ground but it's definitely hovering.
C:
Hello Simon, I am glad you and your friend have come aboard the Mobile Museum.
Oh G'day Chloe, thank goodness you're here.
I must say, this is the most "out there" adventure you've ever come up with.
I totally dig it, but maybe you could tell me where we are and how all of this can fit inside the back of a bus.
C:
This bus, is a dimension-ally, transcendental vehicle.
That means it is bigger on the inside, than the outside.
This is because the interior exists in a different relative dimension, to the exterior.
Creating the virtual realities you will experience while you are here in The Mobile Museum, requires enormous amounts of energy.
The simplest solution, was to quantum leap into in an empty parallel universe, park the bus here, and utilize its limitless dark energy, instead of depleting the energy in our own.
Oh I get it, it's just like the Tardis in Doctor Who.
On the outside it's a phone box, but inside it's a really big time-travelling spaceship.
C:
Yes, of course Simon.
It is just like the Tardis, in Doctor Who.
I thought so, but what's the deal with that very groovy flying saucer?
C:
Museums traditionally focus on events and items from human history, but people have only existed for a small percentage of the earth's timeline.
I thought our first adventure, could be a short tour through the billions of years before humans first appeared.
As there will be some extra-terrestrial travel involved, I have identified the flying saucer as the most appropriate form of transport.
You are undoubtedly, unequivocally and unquestionably brilliant Chloe, I don't know how you come up with these ideas, but, you had me at extra-terrestrial.
We are good to go on that tour, for sure!
C:
Thank you Simon.
If you would both like to take a seat in the vehicle, we can get underway.
Si si senorita, we are on our way.
Ooh that's handy, the glass dome on the flying saucer has lifted up by itself, and a little set of steps have dropped down for us to be able to climb in easily.
Righto, you go first and I'll follow you.
Oh, there's two seats in here, you choose a side, and I'll have the other one.
Oh of course, the seats spin around, so we can look in any direction.
C:
You will notice a large readout of the current time in the middle of the dashboard for your reference.
Oh cool, the glass dome is closing automatically, or should I say auto-magically.
Eh Chloe, all that readout says is "now".
C:
Simon, it is a relative time readout .
You will find, that all of the time frames during this adventure, are relative to now.
Are you ready for lift-off?
Let me answer that with a question.
Do vacuum cleaners really suck at their job?
C:
Ah, now I understand the expression, some things never change.
I shall take that to mean yes.
Departing in 3, 2, and 1.
Now launching, the temporal, virtual reality, holographic algorithm.
Jeepers Creepers!
You better fill up your imagination with rocket fuel, because we've gone interstellar!
Can you see in your mind that we're in outer space, yep, way out!
The gigantic empty warehouse has just disappeared, and we're now totally zooming past thousands and thousands of Galaxies.
And look, the time readout now says 4.6 BYA.
Is that some of sort of top secret computer code Chloe?
C:
No Simon.
4.6 B Y A, means 4.6, billion years ago.
This adventure begins just before the existence of the earth.
Would you like me to keep you updated, on the current time readouts?
I will also highlight the reason, for those times being significant.
Yes please Chloe, that would be super helpful.
There's so much to see out here, I won't have time to look at the clock.
Oh, it looks like we're headed straight for a spiral shaped galaxy.
Can you see how it's spinning slowly in space.
If this is the galaxy I think it is, then I can tell you that it has at least 100 billion stars in it, but we're only looking for one of them.
And there it is, it's a beautiful bright white one.
I hope it looks a little bit familiar because that, is our sun.
I know, I know, you probably think I've got the colour wrong, because you think the sun looks yellow, especially when it's just coming up or going down in the evening.
That's a little trick the atmosphere plays on your eyes.
All the different molecules in the air break up the white light into its different wavelengths or colours, you know, like the colours of the rainbow.
The blues and violets and indigo wavelengths get scattered all over the place, that's why the sky looks blue.
The red, yellow and orange wavelengths, don't scatter so much, and that's why the sun looks yellow or orange, even though it's white.
How's this for a totally weird fact.
Scientists actually call our sun a yellow dwarf star.
I reckon some of those guys must be either colour blind or they didn't get the memo about that different wavelength stuff.
I'll tell you what the sun doesn't need.
It doesn't need to go to university, it already has a million degrees at home, and I reckon it's bright enough already!
I also have some safety advice for you.
Never look at the sun through a colander, you might strain your eyes!
What's the sun's favourite theme park ride?
The solar-coaster!
This really is the perfect spot to stop.
It's like looking at one of those pictures of the solar system you see in books all the time, except there's no earth yet.
Yep, we can see Jupiter and Saturn and even Uranus and Neptune way out in the distance but no Earth, just loads and loads of seriously big rocks, all constantly crashing into each other.
They're called planetesimals, cool name huh?
If they're a kilometre or more across, they don't just bump into other planetesimals, they have enough gravity to pull other rocks in.
That makes them stick together and get bigger and bigger.
I'm pretty sure that's how the earth forms, but this could take a while.
C:
You are correct, Simon.
This process will take between 10 and 20 million years.
I will put the holographic representation into fast forward.
This will allow you to observe the planet forming in approximately 30 seconds.
Thanks Chloe, whoa, when you say fast forward you really mean it!
When those rocks crash into each other, they create so much heat that they're actually melting.
Have you ever collected loads of little bits of play doh or maybe blue tack, and squished them together to make a big ball?
That's sort of what's happening here.
And there it is!
Play doh earth is ready, well if play doh was made of lava that is.
That planet does not look anything like the Earth we live on.
Can you see in your imagination that it's basically a big ball of Magma covered with oceans of fire, the temperature on the surface is 1,700 degrees Celsius.
Yessiree, that is hot enough to melt rocks.
Not exactly home sweet home.
You'd need a bit more than sunblock to survive down there!
Hang on a minute!
This is what that second clue on the bus ticket meant.
The most historic adventure ever, it said.
You don't get any more historic than the formation of our planet.
That's both clues done and dusted!
Eh Chloe, quick question.
I know there isn't any sound in space, but all these rocks slamming into each other sound like a Hollywood action movie!
C:
Simon, I am very impressed with your understanding of acoustic frequency dynamics.
There is no air in the vacuum of space to carry the sound-wave vibrations.
This means to the human ear, space would be silent.
I have however, created a soundtrack to accompany this adventure.
My research indicates that adding sounds, will create a more enjoyable experience for you.
If
you would prefer complete authenticity, I can turn them off.
OK, I don't think I'm a fan of the silence in outer space thing.
Can we have your cool soundtrack back please Chloe?
C:
Certainly, resuming soundtrack.
We have now travelled forward 100 million years.
It is currently 4.5 Billion years ago, and the Earth is about to experience the first of many catastrophic events.
Please check your three o'clock position.
Oh cool, that's like jet pilot talk isn't it, when they tell each other where things are in the sky.
Eh, 3 o'clock position, let me just check my watch, oh, I didn't wear it today.
I know, my phone has the time on it,…..eh…nope, must be in my other frog pants.
Any other clues Chloe?
C:
Look to your right, Simon.
Oh yeah, that's it, I knew that.
12 o'clock is straight ahead so 3 o'clock is on our right hand side.
No problemo.
Oops, I take that back.
Big problemo for the earth, incoming!
It's way too big to be a comet or a meteor.
That is an actual planet, the size of Mars.
It's traveling 20 times faster than a bullet and there's no stopping it.
This bit of the solar system reminds me of the dodgem cars at a fairground, where they drive like crazy and constantly crash into each other.
What's about to happen here, is 2 actual planets smashing into each other.
And there they go!
Oh man, they created so much heat and energy in the explosion, they both turned into liquid rock for a while and then joined up, like the oil in a lava lamp.
It also blasted trillions of tons of rock out into space, and that rock is going to circle around the earth for a while.
I bet you've worked out what happens to all those bits of rock haven't you?
Yep, they'll squish together and become our moon!
When it first formed, the moon was 10 time closer to the earth than it is now.
Here's an interesting fact not many people know about the moon.
It's getting a little tiny bit further away from us, about 4 cm every year, about the same speed your fingernails grow in a year.
C:
Now fast forwarding to the next significant timeline location.
Descending to one kilometre above the surface.
Oh yeah, the readout has gone from 4.5 to 3.5 billion years ago.
That's a billion years!
If we had a compass with us, this is the first time it would start to work, because the earth has just developed it's magnetic field.
Lucky for us it did, because that's what shields us from the atmosphere destroying solar wind the sun is sending our way every day.
That magnetic field, is the only reason we even have an atmosphere.
Poor old Mars isn't so lucky.
No magnetic field, no oxygen, no life, no fun, yeah sorry Mars!
Check out the view down there!
A billion years ago this planet was just a ball of lava, and now look at it.
It's cooled down enough to have some solid land, but there are volcanoes everywhere, and a green-y brown coloured ocean.
That's because of all the iron that's dissolved in it.
And how epic is this!
There are literally thousands of meteors whizzing through the clouds, and landing in the ocean or on the land.
Scientists reckon that's where lots of our water came from you know, inside those millions of meteorites.
Think about that next time you have a glass of water, some of it's probably from outer space.
The volcanoes and meteors and toxic ocean are crazy enough, but what happens next really sends my little frog brain for a loop.
Out of absolutely nowhere, life appears, yep I said life.
It's only an itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny single cell bacteria, but it is life!
Can you guess how this happened?
No?
Don't worry, you're not alone, the biggest science brains in the world aren't quite sure either.
They've got a few theories, cause that's their job, but so far, no one actually knows for sure.
That's one of the reasons proper scientists are my favourite peeps.
They'll just say "sorry, we don't know", and then try really hard to find out the answer.
What they do know, is that this is WHEN it happened.
You can wave to your distant relatives and say thanks if you like.
Super amazing to think we all started out as a tiny bacteria, living in a green toxic ocean.
Now they outnumber every other living thing on Earth.
Speaking of bacteria, I think I failed my biology test.
It turns out that a BACteria, isn't the rear entrance to a CAFFeteria.
I did find bacteria growing on my chocolate bar.
Looks like there is life on mars after all!
I also found out my toothpaste kills 99% of the bacteria in my mouth.
So I went out and bought some sensitive toothpaste.
It still kills 99% of them but at least it doesn't hurt their feelings.
My dad's sister is completely obsessed with killing germs.
We call her Auntie-Bacteria!
UH OH, that's the gross alert sound.
That means I'm going to tell you 2 unbelievably gross facts about bacteria, so now's the time to stick your fingers in your ears if you'd rather not know.
OK, last chance, here we go.
Gross fact number 1
Flushing your toilet, can launch bacteria one and a half metres up into the air.
Note to self: Close the lid when I flush, OK got it.
Gross fact number 2.
Your mobile phone has 10 times more bacteria on it than your toilet seat!
I'm serious!
Oh man, can someone get me an anti-bacterial wipe, and put that thing on speaker!
Oh good one.
While I was rabbiting on about gross facts, we moved forward another 300 million years, and Chloe is taking us down towards the surface of the ocean.
Hang on a minute, we're not stopping, we're going under the surface, how groovy.
I never, ever thought we'd be in a flying saucer under the prehistoric ocean.
There's definitely nothing swimming or even crawling in the ocean yet, but cast your eyeballs over what's growing out of the sea bed.
They look like really big stalks of Broccoli, about a metre tall, but they're not a plant, because there aren't any plants on earth yet.
They're living columns of bacteria, and they're about to change the world completely.
What we're looking at, is something that's never, ever happened on the earth before...Photosynthesis!
Can you see all those little bubbles on the outside of the bacteria columns?
Those are bubbles of oxygen.
They get released when the bacteria turn the sun's energy into glucose to feed themselves.
Eventually, that oxygen will fill the whole atmosphere, but that's going to take a really long time.